What color is most reflective of you? lime green …bright but not girlie
How did you get the idea for your journal name? hummm its chris’s last name and umm im a girl  
What time were you born? 10:32 am
What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? "Drop It Like It's Hot," Snoop & Pharell. YEAH!!!!
Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? Nope.
What color underwear are you wearing? dark blue silky undies
Do you want a baby? Yes, someday
What does your mom do for a living? she works as a fork lift driver
What does your dad do for a living? Who cares
What are your pet's name? Damien and the bitch
What color are your bedsheets?: Leopord
What are the last 3 digits of your phone number? 913
What was the last movie you saw? Shreck 2
Who do you dislike most at this moment? DEB
What food are you craving? Ice Cream
Did you dream last night? I was with chris, jess and brad and that’s all I remember
What was the last tv show you watched? ed edd and eddy
What is your fave piece of jewelry? The intertwined heart necklace chris bought me before he left for boot camp
What is to the left of you? a girl in the comp lab
What was the last thing you ate? Swedish fish
Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Chris and Brad.
Who last IMed you? chris
Where is your signifigant other right now? prolly at home sleeping cuz he can ….lol
Do you have a crush? for about 9 months now welll longer than that actually
What is his name? The Terminator …..lol hahahaha …no …. Chris
What shampoo do you use? Suave Sleek and Shine
When was the last time you cut your hair? God, I cant remember
Are you on any meds? yep
Do you have a mental disease? according to the messed up psych at wlsc …depression …..lol that’s funny
What shirt are you wearing? chris’s rusty hoodie
What time is it? 11:09 am
What color is your razor? a pretty blue and pearl
What is your fave frozen treat? Brownie Earthquake
Are you sexy? lol  well If I answer that I would be consided but if I didn’t I would have a low self esteem and if I told you what my boyfriend thinks id just be bragging so im not gonna answer this trick question lol ….haahah
Whats your favorite shopping store? humm walmart …gabes..lol
Are you thirsty? a lil
Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? Yep

***********************************
THREE THINGS I AM WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. my green oneil hat
2. blue jeans
3. my fave black……………………………………………………………………. flip flops ( get ur mind outta the gutter) lol

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. it’s a compter lab
2. a buncha compter stuff
3. people

THREE GOOD WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY
1. another trick quesiton
2. that im not gonna fall for
3. kiss my ass lol

THREE BAD THINGS ABOUT MY PERSONALITY
1. here we go again
2. this is where the low self esteem part comes in
3. not falling for it ….

THREE PARTS OF MY HERITAGE
1. Italy
2. england
3. Indian

THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
Once again trick question lol but ill answer it anyway

1. My eyes.
2. My hair.
3. My smile.

THREE THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY BODY
and again ……

1. My huge arms
2. My tummy
3. My feet…I hate feet

THREE THINGS MOST PEOPLE DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. I can swallow my tounge
2. I have a really long tounge
3. In actually reality I have 7 siblings

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST
1. fuck
2. the cheesy cheez the creamy cheesy cheesy cheese
3. im sure

THREE PLACES I WANT TO GO
1. home
2. my bed
3. any where with chris

THREE NAMES THAT I GO BY
1. Sam
2. babe
3. sammy
***********************************


T H E - 4 1 1
[my name is]: Samantha Ann Bainbridge
[in the morning I am]: usually awake before ne one else ( not by choice)
[all i need is]: To make it to the part of my life with chris
[love is]: the only thing keeping me sane right now
[if I could see one person right now]: Chris ( then jess and brad )
[I'm afraid of]: elevators
[i dream about]: chris or death


W I T H - T H E - O P P O S I T E - S E X ?
[what do you notice first}: Eyes.
[last person you slow danced with]: Chris no wait that was fast dancing so……ummm…well shit ….. ryan burge about 2 years ago
[scruff or clean shaven]: usual clean
[tall or short]: chris


W H O ?
[makes you laugh the most?]: jess brad chris
[makes you smile]: chris jess brad
[gives you a good funny feeling when you see them]: chris
[has a crush on you?]: chris ( HE BETTER !!) lol
[easier to talk to: boys or girls?]: jess brad and chris


D O - Y O U - E V E R ?
[sit on the internet all day waiting for someone special to I.M. you?]: yea
[save aol/aim conversations]: yea
[cried because of someone saying something to you]: yea


H A V E - Y O U - E V E R ?
[fallen for your best friend]: yea
[been rejected]: yea
[rejected someone]: yea
[used someone]: yea , I didn’t know it though lol
[been cheated on]: Yea….
[done something you regret]: Yea


W H O - W A S - T H E - L A S T - P E R S O N ?
[you talked to]: cournety
[hugged]: chris
[you instant messaged]: danielle
[you laughed with]: chris brad molly Rachel jess brads dad neeko and star lol hahahah


D O - Y O U ?
[color your hair]: Yea
[habla espanol]: non, je parle francais

H A V E - Y O U ? // D O - Y O U ? / / A R E - Y O U?
[smoke]: No.
[obsessive]: ocassionaly
[could you live without the computer?]: I hope id never have to ,,, how would I tlak to chris
[how many peeps are on your buddylist?]: which list ?
[what's your favorite food?]: pickles, steak , mashed tattoos, sweet yeast rolls.
[whats your favorite fruit?]: apples grapes
[which hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain?]: emotional
[trust others way too easily?]: unfourtunetly


F I N A L - Q U E S T I O N S ?
[i want]: to be with chris forever
[i wish]: for a life with out retarded parents
[i love]: CHRIS , jess, brad, ….. my fam and friends lol  
[i miss]: life as a child
[i fear]: myself
[i hear]: compters
[i wonder] what I want to eat


FIRSTS
first real best friend: humm danielle
first real memory: lol ……..who cares
first car: 86’ chevy cavilier
first real break-up: kris powell
first screen name: sweetzspike16
first self-purchased album: garth brooks
first funeral: none ( I don’t go )
first pet: my puppy shadow
first piercing: Ears
first big trip: Florida
first concert: nsync
first music you remember hearing in your house: metallica


LASTS
last cigarette: lol I don’t smoke
last car ride: at 8:15 this morning on my way to school
last good cry: humm I dunno
last movie seen: shrek 2
last swear word uttered: see ya
last beverage drank: water
last food consumed: Swedish fish
last crush: chris
last phone call: my mom
last tv show watched: ed edd and eddy
last time showered: 4 years ago …..lol
last shoes worn: black flip flops
last cd played: a mix of hard metal
last item bought: junk food
last annoyance: my mother
last disappointment: my mother

last time wanting to die: …….
last time scolded: everyday
last shirt worn: weir high shirt
last webpage visited: foamy squrielle

You saved me ....

you saved me, captured my soul , set me free, you saved me

you saved me, from destruction, from me, you saved me

you saved me, from the pain, set me free, you saved me

i know who i am, you saved me

created myself, you saved me

loved you then and now, you saved me

end suffucation, you saved me

i can breath again, you saved me

was nothing, now im something, you saved me

hurt myself more and more each day

killed myself slowly on the inside soon the out

death was all i knew

and end to it all i hoped for

...you had no idea who i was .....but you saved me

beaten as a child taken for granted , weak captured soul in the lost sands of time .....

no one knew who i was i never exsited, just the smile on my face

the only existance of me that people knew,

different roles everyday to hide the tourtured soul inside never being my self

knew i was dying on the inside and loved it.

death was my answer all that i knew a black soul in a golden orb

tourted and beaten , killed and destroyed , my soul not my own my life nothing , my friends not friends just trophies

no one knew who i was , no one knew me....

you didnt even know me and still you saved me

THANK YOU

Day 241 ......kinda happy

So i havent been updating in like forever, well i was a little busy no wi will no longer be ...let me upadte everyone on whats been goin on chris is coming home soon and ive been fired from my ra job for unknow n reasons ...grrrr....oh well its for the better ne how ....illl misss my girls ....im goin to wvncc next semester i think i have it all figured out though so im not really worired itll be fun .....as for that nothing else has really happened same old same old ...hopefully ill do better in some of my classes now that i am less busy it should all be good im down to 13 hrs but ill have alot more work hrs which is waht i need right now so it should be fun ...i love chris so much and miss him but hell be home soo ....yeah i cant wait im gonnna love it .....but im staying at home now so its shoul be kewl i love it .....welp ill ttyl chris is to call soon .....YEAH !!!

Day 231

Its been awhile since ive heard from chris and i miss him dearly hoepfully i can go down and see him some time soon. I love him soo much .... classes are drivin me crazy and  i am serisoulsy considering alot of stuff.....oh well back to class ill vent later .....